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Heroes Are Forever"It will feel natural eventually, just practice, every day if you have to. You will succeed eventually, that much is a guarantee".
But the way had never felt so hard before...
The ceiling above was toned a shadowy gray as Eva stared at it. Her hair, dyed a dark blue, and highlighted with lighter blue streaks, flowed behind her.
Her memories echoed within her brain, ebbing away before picking back up again, and good mingled with the bad, producing powerful mixed emotions.
"What do you mean?"
"Well... It's fairly sell explanatory kid, heh, I'm..."
Eva blinked, she shifted position in her bed, it had been three days, and time seemed to stand still. Somehow, night and day came and went, despite the deadness that surrounded her.
All she wanted was sleep, but her mind was not at ease.
"When will you....?"
"There is no date yet, but the doctors estimate a few months at best..."
A smile swims to the front of Eva's mind.
The VentingIt was not supposed to work like this. She was the strong one, she stood like a tree, tall and firm, but unlike a tree, soft and gentle to the touch. Supportive, giving, loving, caring....
But there she was, tears running down her face, sitting on the floor. Feeling lost, alone, and worst of all....
She felt so small.
So... Fucked up on the inside.
She'd had her moments like this before, but she was young, dumb, emotional. Not like now, now she was mature, now she should have control.
But there she was, knife in hand, blade pressed against her arm, shaking from head to toe. She was scared, scared of the future, scared for her sanity, what will she do? Was this cry for attention even worth it?
Her weakness sickened her more than anything.
Who could she turn to? She tried to think clearly, she thought of her friends, all the good times they shared. They laughed and smiled in the soft lights of her memories....
But as quick as she could recall those memories, they star
Experiment 626-Part One-I do not remember when I started running. I do not even remember why, or who I was running from. My memories limit themselves to sunny days, blue skies, and vague images of those I once considered beloved.
I am filthy, covered in sweat, and have been living in ally ways. I dared not to show myself on the streets, for after awhile, those clean faces that surround me began to look strange and warped. They frightened me, and as deeply as I wished to return to my once happy existence, I began to doubt if it were even possible.
I eat garbage, like a sewer rat, alone.... But not alone. For I am constantly being hunted, shadows stirring in the night, threatening to end my existence at every turn. So I ran, and I still run, and will continue to run.
It is all that I can do for myself.
My life, if I could even refer to it as such, was under constant threat. Yet I fight for it, even when I believe I should let it go, my body gets up, and runs. Running and running through the city in which I live
DenialThy dark state commands me,
"Shut thine eyes,
Gaze no more,
And speak no more,
Of thine wretched state".
But feel I shall,
For emotion can not be quelled so easy.
The pain shut inside of me,
Closed in thine binding grip.
As I pretend not to shudder at its searing presence,
Not to quake in agony.
Such invented thoughts hold as threads,
And eventually, as I hold onto thy comforting deception,
And the things I should have done,
That I could have done...
The failures, the false hopes of the past,
Reminders of fake lovers,
Desires for tastes beyond my reach.
Rush to greet my weakened mind,
And I internally collapse in pain.
All in the name of
TasteI reach out,
I breathe in the rich scents
Of white, red, and brown.
I lean in, desiring just one small sample,
The moment is gone.
Your image vanishes into the depths of my mind,
And my body aches,
The Vanishing WorldI woke up in a daze,
For normally where I'd gaze,
I saw naught one face,
I traveled far and wide,
From the flattest farm,
To the biggest city.
I thought that perhaps everyone,
Was just being witty.
Avoiding my eyes so cleverly,
From Union Square to Beverly.
But at last the truth descended,
I could seen no one,
Not even those I befriended.
For they were all gone,
I could hardly believe it.
I sat down on my lawn,
and cried big tears of sorrow.
I fell back asleep,
Hoping all will be well tomorrow.
You're worth so much moreShe was the type
to cut her wrists,
and then swallow the
because looking at what
was even harder
but I want to tell her
to let the emotions
p i l
out of her mouth,
instead of her
and that I'll gladly
let the words slice me,
if it means
I Tear My Skin AwayI Tear My Skin Away
I tear this skin from my body,
Even if the world screams,
That I am only an illusion.
I tear the bones from my legs,
Through pain, I will grow,
Through suffering, I will become.
I rip the muscles from my arms,
These teeth from my jaws...
And with nothing upon me,
I carry on...
Like a broken puppet, still shivering,
Still forcing its way through the darkness;
I tremble for I am nothing...
And yet, I am moving. My voice still screams...
I draw breath into these tired lungs,
As I rip the flesh away...
And I shatter these mirrors before me,
With a voice that will not break:
Because the world cannot label me as nothing,
And I will live for my own sake!
"So tell me, is that all the pain you've got for me?"
You're beautifulPlease eat.
Are you listening to me?
If you are,
I want to tell you.
You re beautiful.
It doesn't matter what you weigh,
you shouldn't feel guilty about what you ate.
It doesn't matter,
I promise you things will get better.
Listen to my words,
Hold my hand.
Don't worry about the rest of the world,
It's okay if they don't understand,
How it feels like,
To feel fat,
To feel ugly,
To feel worthless.
You are none of those things.
It s okay to be chubby,
It s okay to be skinny.
Because you have a big heart.
And your smile,
Is like a priceless work of art.
And I don't want to see you destroy,
Because you're more than just a broken toy.
And to everyone else,
So for once let yourself be,
Accept your reflection.
Because you are the definition of perfection.
So don't worry,
Don't be sorry,
To be who you are.
Because you re,
Those Green Eyes (Or: Don't Lie to Your Kid)Those green eyes -
The green of joy
The green of hope
The green of love and acceptance -
Were always full of lies.
They first lied when I said,
After a nightmare at four am
When I was too small to reach a light switch,
“Will you ever leave me?”
And those eyes said,
Why did those green eyes
Shut when I needed them most?
"Are you okay?"
Would be a red line
That I would etch into myself
Those green eyes melted.
Those green eyes did shine
And I knew what it was -
I was young, not stupid -
But I indulged the lie,
For those green eyes.
"Will it get better?"
I asked one sunny Saturday
At ten in the morning
And those green eyes looked away;
“And you’ll be here forever?”
There were no words.
I made up my own affirmative.
Those green eyes -
When they saw
How I’d rubbed myself raw
notes on a matchbook love.if I were the type
to say how I really felt,
I'd tell you that
I hope you choke on your apologies
like they're arsenic
and your nails are already
with the poison.
I'd let you know
that I'll never be a body
for you to touch
just because I know that's all you want.
I'll never be a fairy in a bottle
at your waist.
this is no storybook, and
I am no myth.
hear my silence,
feel the cold absence
respond to your weak "I'm sorry"s.
I beg you,
stop digging the hole,
stop, just stop.
Hush and watch the flames
engulf the image you sold me.
you can tell me
I'm beautiful as much
as you want,
but I know that it's not enough,
that you'll always want more,
that you've been a wolf
between my legs all this time
and my fingers are bruised
from holding the leash.
now every time you whisper
"please be okay",
I will always tell you that
I'm fine, I'm fine, I'm fine.
I will forever pretend
that I've grown up from you,
that I've become a mystery
What is Hope?Hope is something we have as children,
It helps us thrive and try our hardest.
Hope is what we express in the worst of times
When all hope seems lost.
Hope is what people possess in life
To work toward our dreams.
Hope is a lie
That's not worth our time.
A note for people who need a kind wordJust a note,
For anyone who has felt,
Like they have been broken.
Just like an old toy.
Thrown and tossed around like a rag doll.
To anyone who feels,
They re tearing at their seams.
And they re losing all control.
A note to the little girl,
And waited for her mother.
Or her father.
To come back home,
To keep her safe,
While she cried.
Or to at least of said goodbye.
And wishes they d come back and tell her,
A note to the lonely boy.
So quiet and reserved.
Who sits and takes their cruel words.
Thinking it s what he deserved.
To be thrown into lockers,
And thinking he can find something better,
With the company of a razor,
Rather than a human.
Because humans have caused him more hurt,
Than the blades that pierce his skin.
A note to the beautiful girls.
Who walk for miles,
Until they have blisters on their feet.
Because they will not accept the defeat,
Of having to see numbers,
That tell them they are not worthy.
They are not pretty.
And they should not be living.
If they c
AnxietyAnxiety tapping on my door,
"Can I come inside your head?"
I shiver, not ready for its visit.
It charges in, smelling of worry.
Spends a morning, afternoon and night,
playing with my emotions.
A marionette dancing its old tune on rough strings.
Leaves me winded and praying to beat it the next time.
I miss youYou are a ghost in my head
Living, yet you haunt my thoughts today
To speak your name
Would be to desecrate this space
Where you are, I should not care to know
But you are a never-healing wound
An unfulfilled promise
A chance to do no wrong
My memories burn with your taste, your touch, your smell
Who have I become?
Too long have the years been to me
To find myself wishing for the crossroads
For the chance to say no, one more time.
It is still and unmoving.
Tension set forth by the fear of the unknown.
The loudest sound a soul can bear.
Pounding, shrieking, agony.
The mind begs for an end,
but the golden plague is unrelenting.
It's grip as tight as a python's on it's prey.
Squeezing it's victim until the mind surrenders,
and the silence engulfs the world with it's white noise.
Parenting for Sex AddictsThe half-day.
We are not those folks that need an occasion to try. And that’s what they call it, too. Trying. As if the very idea of it is taxing. It’s not taxing and we are not those people.
No. We do not go by some magical calendar. Schedules aren’t really our thing in general. That’d be too organized. Too stuffy. Too… I don’t know… too planned. And we’re not the type of people whom plan.
If we could—plan—our lives would be much different. I think. It’s hard to say because this is how we’ve always been.
Our very togetherness is a result of impulse. I’m almost certain that the amount of time it took us to decide to move in together was significantly shorter than the amount of time it took us to remember each other’s names. We might have had our first conversation moments after that first… what I mean to say is we didn’t plan. Because planning would have been much t
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scheinbar is a much-loved and well-known deviant. Just one look at her gallery, filled with enchanting photography, will have you mesmerized. A deviant for over 7 years, Christiane can always be found posting inspirational features as well as regularly commenting on other deviations and encouraging and empowering her fellow deviants. We are inspired and insist that you too stop by and congratulate ... Read More