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Heroes Are Forever"It will feel natural eventually, just practice, every day if you have to. You will succeed eventually, that much is a guarantee".
But the way had never felt so hard before...
The ceiling above was toned a shadowy gray as Eva stared at it. Her hair, dyed a dark blue, and highlighted with lighter blue streaks, flowed behind her.
Her memories echoed within her brain, ebbing away before picking back up again, and good mingled with the bad, producing powerful mixed emotions.
"What do you mean?"
"Well... It's fairly sell explanatory kid, heh, I'm..."
Eva blinked, she shifted position in her bed, it had been three days, and time seemed to stand still. Somehow, night and day came and went, despite the deadness that surrounded her.
All she wanted was sleep, but her mind was not at ease.
"When will you....?"
"There is no date yet, but the doctors estimate a few months at best..."
A smile swims to the front of Eva's mind.
The VentingIt was not supposed to work like this. She was the strong one, she stood like a tree, tall and firm, but unlike a tree, soft and gentle to the touch. Supportive, giving, loving, caring....
But there she was, tears running down her face, sitting on the floor. Feeling lost, alone, and worst of all....
She felt so small.
So... Fucked up on the inside.
She'd had her moments like this before, but she was young, dumb, emotional. Not like now, now she was mature, now she should have control.
But there she was, knife in hand, blade pressed against her arm, shaking from head to toe. She was scared, scared of the future, scared for her sanity, what will she do? Was this cry for attention even worth it?
Her weakness sickened her more than anything.
Who could she turn to? She tried to think clearly, she thought of her friends, all the good times they shared. They laughed and smiled in the soft lights of her memories....
But as quick as she could recall those memories, they star
Experiment 626-Part One-I do not remember when I started running. I do not even remember why, or who I was running from. My memories limit themselves to sunny days, blue skies, and vague images of those I once considered beloved.
I am filthy, covered in sweat, and have been living in ally ways. I dared not to show myself on the streets, for after awhile, those clean faces that surround me began to look strange and warped. They frightened me, and as deeply as I wished to return to my once happy existence, I began to doubt if it were even possible.
I eat garbage, like a sewer rat, alone.... But not alone. For I am constantly being hunted, shadows stirring in the night, threatening to end my existence at every turn. So I ran, and I still run, and will continue to run.
It is all that I can do for myself.
My life, if I could even refer to it as such, was under constant threat. Yet I fight for it, even when I believe I should let it go, my body gets up, and runs. Running and running through the city in which I live
DenialThy dark state commands me,
"Shut thine eyes,
Gaze no more,
And speak no more,
Of thine wretched state".
But feel I shall,
For emotion can not be quelled so easy.
The pain shut inside of me,
Closed in thine binding grip.
As I pretend not to shudder at its searing presence,
Not to quake in agony.
Such invented thoughts hold as threads,
And eventually, as I hold onto thy comforting deception,
And the things I should have done,
That I could have done...
The failures, the false hopes of the past,
Reminders of fake lovers,
Desires for tastes beyond my reach.
Rush to greet my weakened mind,
And I internally collapse in pain.
All in the name of
TasteI reach out,
I breathe in the rich scents
Of white, red, and brown.
I lean in, desiring just one small sample,
The moment is gone.
Your image vanishes into the depths of my mind,
And my body aches,
The Vanishing WorldI woke up in a daze,
For normally where I'd gaze,
I saw naught one face,
I traveled far and wide,
From the flattest farm,
To the biggest city.
I thought that perhaps everyone,
Was just being witty.
Avoiding my eyes so cleverly,
From Union Square to Beverly.
But at last the truth descended,
I could seen no one,
Not even those I befriended.
For they were all gone,
I could hardly believe it.
I sat down on my lawn,
and cried big tears of sorrow.
I fell back asleep,
Hoping all will be well tomorrow.
Mental Disorder Discrimination"You said you've got depression?
No you don't, you attention seeker.
You're just an average teenager with the perfect life
Desperately looking for sympathy."
Stop crying, you coward.
You're just a childish "scaredy-cat".
Blaming your problems on a mental disorder
That doesn't even exist."
"So you're schizophrenic?
Grow the hell up, and stop acting like a child
You're too old for imaginary friends
You callow, juvenile, little twit."
But if we're attention seekers,
Why do we try so hard to hide our feelings from the world?
Why do we isolate ourselves in our rooms,
Desperately hiding the cuts on our wrists
Trying our best to live a normal life?
And if we're simply "scaredy-cats",
Why is our fear so vividly intense?
Unlike simple fear, our anxiety will stick with us forever
A severe long-lasting feeling of powerful panic.
A feeling from which we'll never be free.
Suddenly we're childish for having a mental disorder?
Schizophrenia is not something we can control.
YouIf you’re a girl, you’re a girl.
If you’re a boy, you’re a boy.
If you’re white, you’re white.
If you’re black, you’re black.
If you’re gay, you’re gay.
If you’re bi, you’re bi.
If you’re straight, you’re straight.
If you’re religious, you’re religious.
If you’re an atheist, you’re an atheist.
If you’re mentally disabled, you’re still human.
If you’re physically disabled, you’re still human.
For everything you are:
So who are they to judge you for who you are?
to me you are perfect
I do not know the reasons
for all those scars burning
against your bright skin
you've been soaking
a pain reminiscing from past
we both cannot recollect
yet you are so beautiful..
when night gets darker
and I am the one...
who's hungered to undress
the spirit of you
slowly revealing the layers
coming off from shadows
disguised in desires
craving to be fulfilled
I will caress every corner
of your silhouette
until I figure the true shape
of your heart
I will rub those blisters
softly until every nerve
of you gushes into a river
and you moan into a life
I had promised you
years ago when we began
to breathe into each other
for all the truths
I must swallow
and lessons I must learn
you are the one
I am destined to discover
what it means
to love in perfection
daydreams and monsters.she was a girl.
she ran with the moon,
chased fireflies in the bluegrass, and
watched the reflection of sunsets in rain puddles.
her name was Alice,
and she was a girl.
but to the dragonflies she was a queen,
and to the mirror she was a sister.
the moon was her prince, and the
blinking windows were the eyes
that kept her safe.
she spent her nights making wishes, and she
dragged her fingers along the shooting stars
that were tangled with her vertebrae.
her name was Alice,
and she was a girl.
her body was a river
her mind was an ocean
and her heart was the sky.
she lived in a world where
doves flew in the sea and
whales swam in the
poem for borderlinesif i could concentrate over
seven hundred thousand eyes
at the roof to the numbers stepping
from the nicities & rows
to go back
to the shattered surface
& the ripples beating over the hang
halfway between shallow
biting lips. maybe--
she couldn't have known
that it takes a whole three minutes
for the lungs to
well, maybe she
who, oh well
the white; the haze--
the booming over
the spume and spray
me get out of my head
just pull up the shutters
my tongue the weight to talk
but that's all we'll ever be:
a match burning itself out for
under the backspray of someone else's wheels
It is still and unmoving.
Tension set forth by the fear of the unknown.
The loudest sound a soul can bear.
Pounding, shrieking, agony.
The mind begs for an end,
but the golden plague is unrelenting.
It's grip as tight as a python's on it's prey.
Squeezing it's victim until the mind surrenders,
and the silence engulfs the world with it's white noise.
Keep in Touch!
Lilyas has dedicated herself to making our community a brighter place with her vibrant artwork and infectious enthusiasm for interacting with others in our community. It has certainly paid off, as many deviants flock to her page on a daily basis to let her know how much of an inspiration she is. We absolutely agree, and couldn't let all that hard work go without recognition, so it's with great pride that we bestow the Deviousness Award for March 2014, to ... Read More