Denial

Thy dark state commands me,
"Shut thine eyes,
Gaze no more,
And speak no more,
Of thine wretched state".
But feel I shall,
For emotion can not be quelled so easy.
The pain shut inside of me,
Closed in thine binding grip.
As I pretend not to shudder at its searing presence,
Not to quake in agony.
Such invented thoughts hold as threads,
And eventually, as I hold onto thy comforting deception,
They break.
And the things I should have done,
That I could have done...
The failures, the false hopes of the past,
Reminders of fake lovers,
Desires for tastes beyond my reach.
Rush to greet my weakened mind,
And I internally collapse in pain.
All in the name of
Futility.